Friday, July 02, 2004

Okay feelin

Things have been a lot better then the last entry. I mean pretty much me and my boyfriend had a very long talk about what he plans to do about his child that is on the way and also what he plans to do between me and him pretty much. But, after I told him about the whole thing with me not going to college, he was pretty much mad as I could guess. And then he could understand the way I was feeling about the whole college thing. So, pretty much when it comes down to September and stuff he is going to drive down here and pick me up and then drive back home to virginia. And boy that will take us 1-2 days to get backto virginia from california. IDK where I am going to celebrate my 18th birthday at, but I can grantee you this that I probably won't celebrate it with my dad them since pretty much everything has gone so wrong. I'll probably celebrate my 18th birthday with my bf up in virginia, and get on with me life as pretty much having a fucked up family.

But, the one person I so want to talk to in my life is my mom. I haven't spoke to her in about 5 years now, and she still can't recognize me as her daugther. As everytime I call all she does is not answer the phone and at like she is busy which she isn't. Why does life have to be like this?? The only person that has been almost through it all with me is my bf Jay. Basically I've known Jay for like 6 years but we were an off and on type of couple. But, now we are together and I plan on keeping it that way. So, basically the things that I am feeling right, I have to wash it away and look at the better side of things in my life. A lot of people told me that I should leave Jay because he has a child on the way. And then when I was telling Jay that he was like so you're going to leave me now?? Then I said no no....I am not going to leave you. I love you Jay and only you. So, pretty much Imma stay with Jay and live my life being with him.

Also I found out some new things right now and that is pretty much my dad is getting married next saturday is basically I'm going to have to request off and what not. Well, after typing out my feelings a lot of things are not relax with me now. Much better feeling that I have.

# posted by Jy | 10:14 AM

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